“The family is placed at the center of the great struggle between good and evil, between life and death, between love and all that is opposed to love.”

Pope St. John Paul II

This quote describes the heart of Paradisus Dei, a lay Catholic ministry founded in 2001 by President Steve Bollman dedicated to marriage and family life. A private association of the faithful and an organization of the Catholic Church, its goal is to provide the answer to human longing for authentic love and to counter the attack on and decline of families.

In the words of the organization. “Surveys indicate that millennials have become disillusioned with all institutions, but especially the Church and the family. Their participation in organized religion is the lowest in recorded history and a recent survey by Nielsen Research revealed that ‘getting married’ and ‘having children’ were their least desirable goals in life. In fact, the marriage rate per capita has fallen 30 percent in the past generation. The Catholic marriage rate has fallen by a staggering 73 percent. ….

“Frequently hidden behind this data is the greatest tragedy: the thirst of the human heart for love … that remains unfulfilled.”

 “The future of the world and Church pass by way of the family,” wrote Pope St. John Paul II. So the current collapse in marriage and family life is threatening the future viability of larger society and the Church itself, according to the organization.

Paradisus Dei serves couples, men, women and youth in 45 states and seven countries, “integrating the teachings of the Catholic faith with findings of modern science and the wisdom of the saints.”

Mike DiCosola, Paradisus Dei Director of Mission Engagement, is primarily responsible for the organization’s Missionaries to the Family Initiative. Missionaries to the Family intends to revitalize the domestic Church by sending out couples to evangelize other families.

Paradisus Dei forms their vision for family life from the example of the Holy Family (Joseph, Mary and Jesus). Paradisus Dei notes the Holy Family’s life was based on sexual fidelity, financial generosity and an encounter with the God “who is rich in mercy.” They’ve named following this model “living the Spirit of Nazareth,” which also shadows the mystery of the Trinitarian relationship among the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

Paradisus Dei encourages families to practice the Spirit of Nazareth in their homes by:

1. Finding the hidden presence of Christ in your home. Create touchpoints to remind you to think about God and set aside time to pray.

2. Joyful service. Fill the home with joy. Create an environment where it’s easy to be good and hard to be bad. Serve each other and with each other.

3. Loving sacrifice. Follow the Little Way of Saint Therese. Defer to others for no other reason than out of love. Make sacrifices for your family in small, hidden ways without drawing attention to yourself.

The organization’s founders believe that couples who live this way will evidence a joy that’s contagious.

“When families intentionally start living this way they flourish,” Mike said. “It is beautiful to see. They will become missionaries naturally because people will notice and want what they have. It’s not a program, it’s family to family evangelization. If every family affected 10 others, the majority of families would live this way.”

Mike pointed to Paradisus Dei’s examination of social science research to show that couples who practice 7 Steps consistent with historic church teachings not only divorce-proof their marriages but experience the joy of living authentic Catholic lives in their homes.

Mike explained how the 7 Steps relate to age-old ways to help people remove vice and practice virtue in their lives.

Honor your wedding vows.

• Use money for other people.

• Give God some of your time.

• Set your mind on the things above.

• Find God in yourself.

• Find God in other people.

• Practice superabundant mercy.

Paradisus Dei compiled sociologic research to discover that if couples adhere to five key practices found in the 7 Steps, their risk of divorce dwindles to close to zero.

The five include: not cohabitating, not committing infidelity, attending church weekly, praying daily and earning a college degree (one external factor of “set your mind on things above” that “can be quantified,” Mike explained.)

In addition to divorce-proofing, those principles almost guarantee that the marriage will be happy. In fact, four out of five couples researched rated their marriage as “very happy,” the highest possible rating, according to the organization.

“Get married, stay married, have kids and go to church. These are actions that will make you the happiest, healthiest and wealthiest, in spite of everything the culture says against it,” Mike said. “God has a plan for your family that is so much more than you were expecting.”

In 2019 Paradisus Dei became more intentional about equipping families to lead by example. They developed a rigorous, year-long formation program, called Missionaries to the Family. The program is faithful to the Church’s tradition and administered by theology professors from the McGrath Institute for Church Life at the University of Notre Dame. Screened participants complete online courses in theology as well as spiritual formation coursework both online and at three weekend retreats. Each is paired with a mentor couple, who attends retreats with them and helps them develop the practical skills necessary to become effective, fruitful missionary couples in their own local parishes and communities.

Since 2019 more than 200 missionary couples have completed 1000+ volunteer hours per month to reach 5,000 people through their activity.

“While the formation process for missionaries covers quite a bit of ground in the retreats, emails, catechism reading, spiritual plan of life, and course work, there is a core message that missionary couples are invited to live and then share with others: the reality that God can be found and adored in their home,” according to the organization.

“Ninety percent of what Missionaries to the Family does is work on the couples,” Mike said. “The biggest fruit is that it completely transforms their marriages for them. It’s not new or earth shaking, but we really insist on couples praying together. That’s a foundational piece because it covers so many other issues.”

In the formation year, the Missionaries to the Family program encourages participants to start living in the Spirit of Nazareth in their home and strengthening their own spiritual life. After they are commissioned to go into the mission field, they’ll evangelize other families to come and see, Mike said. “These well-trained volunteers become a trusted resource to their parish.”

Some couples help in marriage preparation or sponsor engaged couples in their local parish. Others initiate a class for parents of children preparing for First Communion, transition marriage prep couples to an ongoing small group encounter or move young adult groups beyond fellowship into spiritual formation.

Missionaries also can use Paradisus Dei content like The Choice Wine book and video series to host small groups in their homes and create friendships with other couples. Or they might select one of the Mysteries of the Rosary, two series of which were filmed in the Holy Land.

The Choice Wine: 7 Steps to a Superabundant Marriage was written to place authentic marital happiness within every couple’s reach. Content shares how to practically apply the original 7 Steps to any marriage.

“Steve Bollman integrates the latest findings from modern science with the wisdom of the ages and a little common sense to expand your vision of marriage.

• The neurological research revealing the reality that husband and wife truly ‘become one.’

• The medical science indicating that the human person transcends the limits of the visible world.

• The neurological reality that spouses are driven to be profoundly merciful to each other.”

The nine-video series introduces the concepts and uses Steve’s personal experiences as a reference as he integrates science and faith.

Engaging the intellect by incorporating scientific research appeals to young people, Mike noted. “Many young people are pressured not to get married and have children,” he said. “We want to show them the beauty of the sacrament of marriage and that the teachings of the church are relevant. Living a moral life is better than living one that is not.”

While the Missionaries to the Family program has made great headway training its cohorts, Paradisus Dei perhaps is best known for its flagship That Man is You! (TMIY) Program that recently celebrated its 20th anniversary.

“That Man is You! honestly addresses the pressures and temptations that men face in our modern culture, especially those relating to their roles as husbands and fathers,” according to the organization. TMIY runs in more than 900 parishes across the United States and internationally and reaches 35,000 men on a weekly basis.

In fall 2024, Paradisus Dei launched a complimentary program titled, She Shall be Called Woman. 100 parishes signed up for its initial launch. While similar to the men’s ministry, She Shall be Called Woman is structured with more time for women to fellowship and share in small groups prior to listening to presentations by popular female Catholic speakers.

“Unfortunately, the majority of our youth has experienced broken homes and failed relationships. As such, many have abandoned hope of finding true and lasting love….

They frequently google the very simple, but essential question: ‘What is love?’” according to the organization.

“The Church has the answer to the longing of our age. Paradisus Dei has developed the pathway to present this answer with unparalleled beauty.” Perhaps you are called to be an “instrument in the hand of the Lord.” Find out more at https://paradisusdei.org/.