Ever wish someone could show you how Catholic Church teachings about marriage could help you build a happier, holier and more joy-filled relationship? Chris and Linda Padgett have spent the past two decades helping couples apply the church’s theology to real-world situations. The Padgetts created a Sanctify Your Marriage tool and written three books, Not Ready for Marriage, Not Ready for Sex: One Couple’s Return to Chastity; Holy Marriage, Happy Marriage: Faith-Filled Ways to a Better Relationship; and Marriage & Ministry, through which they share lessons learned during their 33 years of marriage.

Their suggestions are deeply rooted in the theology of the Catholic Church. Chris holds a master’s degree in theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville and a Licentiate in Sacred Theology from the International Marian Research Institute. He is currently a professor of Theology at Catholic International University. In addition to raising nine children, Linda is an author and mental health counselor, with a Certificate in Spiritual Direction from the Cenacle School of Spiritual Direction. She is pursuing her Ph.D. in Traumatology.

Despite their titles and degrees, the Padgetts’ goal is to empower couples to practically live out the Church’s vision for marriage and family. They desire to use their gifts and talents to share the Gospel as they blend their therapeutic and theological backgrounds.

Chris and Linda have been inspired by their evangelistic hearts to tell people about Jesus since early in their relationship when Chris’ musical abilities allowed them to connect with youth. They quickly realized that evangelism is best taught in the context of healthy marriages and families. “You can get kids excited about faith,” Chris said, “but if they go home and mom and dad are out of step, it’s harder for them to grow in their faith life.”

Initially the Padgetts focused on modeling a healthy marriage for their own children and seeing others won to Christ by their example. But they were struck by those whose marriages were not lasting. They decided to examine reasons why their marriage was beating the odds and created content that became the core outline of Holy Marriage, Happy Marriage.

They realize couples often feel adrift after taking their required pre-marital prep class, unsure how the church doctrine applies in their day-to-day lives. They base their recommendations on Catholicism’s Cardinal and Theological virtues. Faith, hope, charity, prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance find modern counterparts in self-control, dignity and respect, wise choices, commitment, freedom, believing in each other and dreaming together. The book offers practical examples of where people succeed and fail in these areas.

Life keeps bringing fresh applications. Linda’s encouragement and affirmation boosted Chris during the pandemic when their public speaking events were curtailed. Now it’s his turn to believe in her as she pursues her Ph.D. They describe freedom as both spouses being free to say “yes” to each other for the entirety of their marriage, as well as having the freedom to be who they are individually and in the context of their marriage.

“Your marriage is going to be unique to you, with its own messiness,” Linda said.

They recently introduced a new resource that expands this material. The Chris & Linda Show debuted on YouTube and podcast in fall 2024. The 30-minute broadcast gives them time to unpack topics in more depth than they can explore when they teach a pre-cana seminar or even in their books.

The couple takes notes as they interact with people about topics that resonate or neglected problems like intimacy or natural family planning. They’ve had friends who have struggled with having children and gone through the adoption process or suffered through miscarriages. Chris and Linda offer both his and her perspective in areas like forgiveness, tips for young couples, weighing school options, and who apologizes.

“Often something’s been given an idealized presentation that’s almost been neutered of its practicalities and difficulties,” Chris said. “We want to talk about things in a way that is authentic.”

“We can live in a marriage that is beautiful even though it is difficult,” Linda echoed. “We are constantly creating a team to have victory. This is our mission field. This is the place we have to do the work. Marriages are falling apart. People are trying to put a bandaid on an arterial wound.”

 

Their Sanctify Your Marriage course provides hours of content about spiritual, physical and emotional aspects of marriage, complete with downloadable PDFs of questions, prayer activities and scripture references.

Story driven and with practical tips, the courses include:

*Preconceived ideas of marriage and how they affect a marriage now

*How vices and past hurts keep couples from having a truly happy marriage

*Four levels of commitment to move your marriage to where you (and God) want it to be

*Why there are highs and lows in marriage

Sanctify Your Marriage Course can be accessed through The Center for Holy Marriage. “The courses offered through The Center will help couples grow deeper in love and unwrap the full potential of what God intended for marriage,” according to the website.

The Padgetts also specialize in ministering to people involved in ministry, a topic close to their hearts as they’ve spent their careers “struggling to keep one from destroying the other.” They wrote their book, Marriage and Ministry specifically for this audience, although they noted it could easily apply to couples juggling marriage and work, marriage and golf — anything that gets in the way of the spouse’s place of priority.

“There’s no such thing as balance,” Linda said. “Marriage takes precedence. You need to be unified in your vision and not sacrifice your marriage on the altar of ministry.”

They address the reality of spiritual warfare that comes against those following God’s call. They teach spouses how to pray for each other, bless each other, and invoke the saints. Chris and Linda often pray the family Rosary or Liturgy of Hours together.

“Growing healthier spiritually will draw you deeper relationally,” Chris said. “You have to be growing in your faith life individually to be growing in your faith life together. The cliché ‘You can’t give what you don’t have’ holds true.”

 

Meet me at the BAR (Building Authentic Relationships)

The BAR is a monthly video series designed to build better marriages and closer communities that can be accessed online individually or in person with a small group. The concept was born “to bring young couples and veteran couples together, so that young couples can glean wisdom from the veterans, and veteran couples can rediscover the enthusiasm of young love,” the Padgetts write.

“Your BAR meets in small groups once or twice a month, depending on your schedule, watches a short video together, and then responds to a series of questions specially designed to trigger good times, get folks laughing, encourage couples to share their wisdom and stories, and remind couples why they fell in love to begin with.”

Chris and Linda were asked to create a program to help build community in their parish as it combined four smaller congregations. “It was great to watch relationships starting to build among people who wouldn’t have interacted otherwise,” Linda said. “We invite people to talk about their story then share that with the group.” Questions like asking couples to remember why they fell in love or sharing their favorite holiday memory get the conversation started. Linda referenced John Gottman’s research that shows one of six preventives against divorce is remembering your story and knowing who you are as a couple.

“We see couples light up as they revisit how they first met,” Chris added.

A downloadable step-by-step guide for starting a BAR can be found here. Small group leaders can access the Vimeo platform for the videos, or a parish could order and share. One purchase provides material for a year. While some churches host a BAR on campus, others encourage groups to fellowship in homes and incorporate drinks and snacks. Bulletin inserts are available to publicize group formation.

The book that launched Chris and Linda’s writing and speaking career, Not Ready for Marriage, Not Ready for Sex: One Couple’s Return to Chastity , has now been re-released by Dynamic Catholic publishing. The Padgetts, who met at age 17, describe their return to chastity after a year of struggle. During the two years they walked in purity they got back on track with the Lord and developed the foundation of the relationship that has sustained them together for 33 years.

 

Their content is blunt. “You can have a great relationship and have it be chaste,” Chris said, “and if you are serious about the relationship, it needs to be.” They discuss how to find victory especially in this area where it might not have been modeled or seems impossible. “It is possible and will help you in the long run,” he said.

No matter the age or stage, your marriage can be happy and holy. Find the inspiration and tools you need at chrisandlindapadgett.com.