When considering ministries that help Christians with their finances, images of slashed credit cards or a rolling debt snowball might come to mind. But long before Dave Ramsey, Crown Financial Ministries was helping people understand “who they are, what they have and how to best use both.” It might be a surprise to learn that getting out of debt is not their top concern. The ministry, started by the late Larry Burkett in 1976 and led now for the past 25 years by CEO Chuck Bentley, lays a foundation with Biblical truth to align a person’s mind with God’s purpose for money. That thought change leads to heart transformation and a new attitude that’s grounded much deeper than just the desire to tackle a family budget.

Many reach out to Crown because they are in financial pain – struggling with student debt or unable to make their income meet their needs. The ministry offers a plethora of resources to help on its website, including traditional financial calculators, help reducing debt and ways to connect with a budget coach for those who need support. But more than the tools, people also can access the Bible study about money that so dramatically changed Chuck’s heart and life trajectory.

“God talks about money in the Bible even more than heaven and hell,” he said. As he went through the Crown study, Chuck developed a voracious appetite for God’s word.

“I realized that my love of money was an egregious sin in the eyes of the Lord – on par with all the bad sins – and I repented. What changed my heart was the word, faithful. I was ashamed I was not a faithful man. I was sincerely sorry for my unfaithfulness to God.

“I had been a fool to love something that didn’t love me back. I vowed that money would never again be my master and determine my decisions.”

Often, financial pain spills over into relationships. Disagreement about money can cause much marital unhappiness, and, in fact, is noted as one of the top predictors of divorce.

“Money is often cited as the greatest area of frustration, fighting, argument, stress, and unhappiness, as well as causing the breakup of many marriages,” Chuck wrote in Money Problems, Marriage Solutions: 7 Keys to Aligning Your Finances and Uniting Your Hearts. In the book, he, along with his wife, Ann, discuss that while money struggles can rob couples of joy, learning to conquer and resolve those issues together can bring great unity and strength to a marriage.

Studies show that “married people experience less poverty and more prosperity than any other living arrangement,” he cited. But why is it so difficult for couples to get on the same page? The secret for couples to unify their hearts is to be in alignment with God’s stance toward money.

“Couples can have a great financial plan and a solid budget but still be worlds apart in their heart and mind,” Chuck wrote. “We want to help you join your hearts and minds together – to stop attacking each other – to make a lasting peace first, then we will help you attack the financial challenges as a united team.” As he wrote in the book’s introduction, “It is impossible to prosper when there is war. You must seek peace first; then you will prosper.”

Chuck noted that it’s not a lack of money that causes the conflict. If money solved marriage problems the wealthy wouldn’t divorce. It’s a marital harmony problem that’s underneath and contributing to the money problem.

The Bentleys draw from their own past discord in this area. The couple spent 21 years in emotional pain and frustration due to their lack of alignment about money.

“We would fight each other over the problem instead of fighting the problem – it’s a successful tactic of the enemy. We’d come to a stalemate if Ann wouldn’t agree with me,” Chuck said. It was through Crown’s Bible study they realized the real problem was what they believed about money, not their behaviors. Ann, raised by two schoolteachers, was frugal and conservative. Chuck thought, “that was awful! I wanted to be wealthy and powerful in the world’s eyes.” Chuck was following the cultural American dream, working long hours, defining his purpose, identity and self-worth through making more and more money. The problem was his striving was not what Ann valued. She wanted the riches to be inside of the home.

Ann wanted to be radically generous and was concerned that Chuck wasn’t trusting the Lord with their finances. Things began to change when Chuck started aligning his thoughts with God’s priorities.

“We are called to be faithful, not successful. Faithful is defined as consistently honoring your commitments. God wants our relationship to be with him not money,” he said.  Ann increased her respect for Chuck when she saw him changing his worldview and attitude. The couple began to give far more than the national average of 2.6% of gross income.

“Biblical stewardship is not ordering your life in such a way so you can spend your money however you want. It’s ordering your life in such a way so God can spend you however he wants,” Chuck said.

The grip of materialism released, and Chuck learned what it was to be content, selfless, sacrificial and generous – values he realized Ann always had but he hadn’t previously understood.

“Way too often we think it’s just about a budget – but that doesn’t work. It’s about changing the control center in your heart,” he said.

He developed a joy and passion to help others with their finances. The Bentleys began volunteering to lead small groups to teach Crown’s Bible study in church. They recruited friends and neighbors and saw marriages healed and people fix their finances.

Within a year, they discovered teaching Crown’s Bible study was more exciting than Chuck’s business career. In 2000, with four children still at home, they raised their own support and joined Crown in full-time ministry. The radical shift from a salaried position to no income was a leap of faith.

”When Ann realized God was in control of my life we were united like never before,” Chuck said. He credits her strength of character. “If we had stayed on the other path, we would have had money but not the joy. We’ve grown closer to God and to each other,” he said. “God gives us riches money can’t buy, and God will give you a problem money can’t solve.”

Now Chuck describes the couple’s 46-year marriage as full of love. “The joy of being committed in a loving relationship where you’ve worked out your shortcomings and accepted each other – there’s no equal! We’re enjoying each other like never before. I’m so glad we went through the valleys to enjoy the mountaintops. We are united in purpose and passion and love of family and experiencing the true riches of life as God intended.”

In Money Problems, Marriage Solutions, he and Ann share a framework to follow. Becoming debt free is not the panacea. The book lists seven keys that help couples align finances and unite hearts: Peacemaker, Prosperity, Purpose, Philosophy, Personality, Plan and Process.

The first concept they explain is for spouses to commit to becoming peacemakers – defined as “one who demonstrates consistent readiness to reconcile mutual differences by seeking to listen to, honor, and learn from your spouse. Both must STRIVE to be a peacemaker, seeking common ground and mutual benefit rather than becoming entrenched in your own agendas or selfish desires.” If one will become a peacemaker, the marriage will survive. If both, the marriage will thrive, Chuck noted.

An anonymous quote is their watchword: “The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

The Prosperity chapter reminds us that “getting rich should not be our ultimate goal in life.” They also encourage couples to be aligned in purpose and respect the other’s personality. The Armani suit story in the chapter on Developing a Process shares a not-to-be missed example of God’s faithfulness (and sense of humor). Chapter Eight is filled with marriage stories of hope, another includes exercises (many suggested by Ann) for going deeper. The book also includes a marriage money vow for couples to sign. The appendix makes a case for marriage and family and includes a lengthy list of research references.

Another of Crown’s helpful resources for couples – both before and after marriage – is a workbook titled Money Dates.

“Many marriages today are in trouble! And struggling couples often tell us that conflicts over money are the leading cause of their arguments. Maybe you can relate. Yet God’s desire for you and your spouse is to live in peace with each other, unified and making financial decisions together. We created 12 date nights, or Money Dates, to help spouses and engaged couples connect on the topic of money. Come together to create a biblical financial plan that will help you achieve all God has for you.” – from the description.

Content includes ways to discuss each spouse’s money story, with questions to help them open up about their history and context. They’ll also see how their money origins impact their feelings about debt, saving and spending. Each date includes scripture to help couples seek wisdom from God’s word as they develop their financial philosophy.

Date titles include Who’s the Boss, Thriving in Tough Times, The Secret to Spending Well, Living Within Our Means, Saving Even When It’s Hard, and Flourishing in Generosity.

“Money can be a private and sensitive topic that couples don’t know how to talk about,” Chuck said. “Money Dates helps you discuss it in a way you can make progress. You can use the framework to communicate in a structured way, so you don’t get upset.”

As couples fill in the blanks, they will begin to connect the dots, set and achieve their goals. Chuck recommends pre-married couples work through it “to start on the right foot and not suffer the stress of not being on the same page.”

Driven by a passion to help others find that peace, Chuck teaches Biblical financial principles all over the world and hosts two daily radio broadcasts, The Crown Money Minute and My MoneyLife, featured on more than 1,100 Christian music and talk stations in the United States, with 8,000 plays a week. He shares the message that “No matter how broken it may be or hopeless you may feel, everyone can experience harmony in their marriage.”

God’s principles are His counsel of what’s best for us, Chuck added, as he reiterated Crown’s process. Start inside with what you believe. Renew your mind with God’s word and let your heart change. Then align your financial decisions with God’s principles. When you do that, it’s easy to be united.

“We think stewardship and generosity are a priority,” Chuck said. “In the American context, giving is usually about the leftovers, not put first.” Chuck founded and serves as executive director of the Christian Economic Forum, a global network dedicated to advancing God-inspired solutions to the world’s greatest challenges. It is best known for its annual Global Event, accelerating the collaboration of Christian leaders from more than 40 nations. He also serves on the boards of Foundations for Farming International in Zimbabwe, an initiative dedicated to helping the ultra-poor learn to flourish using local resources, as well as Trust Bridge Global, an organization dedicated to helping generous donors safely transmit funds around the world.

Don’t let misaligned money priorities rob your marital harmony and hinder the joy of generosity. Connect with Crown and discover financial principles to live by.