Ready, Set, Go! This three-step process inspired by a stoplight forms the framework of 365 Dates to Renew Your Christian Marriage, Increasing Your Emotional Intimacy One Question at a Time, published in 2021 by Catholic therapist Dana Nygaard, LPC. 

Her desire to help couples connect was inspired by the Gottman method (a therapy in which she has been trained) that gauges connection by how well couples know each other. In her private practice, ChristianComfortCounseling.com, Dana had counseled a non-communicative couple who not only couldn’t tell her when they’d last had a date but had trouble remembering how they’d even met in the first place.

“They didn’t know each other at all!” she said.

365 Dates offers a page for each day of the year that includes three “courtship questions” couples can discuss to build emotional intimacy.

She and her husband, David, enjoy day trips around their home in Plano, Texas. Dana purchased some similarly themed books to spark conversation on their drives but found the selections included racy questions that made her uncomfortable. She resolved to provide an alternative Christians could enjoy. Always one to prepare, Dana wrote 4000 questions from which she culled the final selections. Some are fun or flirty, others serious, intense or romantic, but they steer clear of R-rated content.

The first Ready question is designed to warm up the conversation – Green Light! This question is something light and easy that’s not going to get you into a fight or cause a wreck, Dana said. An example she posts on her website, dananygaard.com, “Which of us is more likely to laugh at an inappropriate time?” The Set question goes deeper but doesn’t cover such personal information that a couple would be worried if their conversation was overheard at a restaurant, for instance, “If you could time travel to meet family members, would you rather go back in history or into the future?”

The Go question “is meant for couples to enter into a thought-provoking conversation stirring curiosity while gaining new insights into their spouse’s perspectives,” she wrote. One might ask, “Which 3 words come to mind when you think of God?”

Also included is space to write down reflections, a personal preparation prayer and another for the couple to pray together. As questions deepen within the date, so, too, does the level of intimacy increase longitudinally throughout the book, Dana noted.

Couples can utilize 365 Dates at their own pace.  If they refer to it once a week on a date, it will take more than seven years to get through the book, she remarked. She and David like to use it for the purpose it was originally written – in the car. Dana purposefully did not let her husband see the questions before publication, so their conversation remains fresh. She was touched when she was the driver on a rare occasion, and David asked her if she wanted him to get out the book.

“It was one of the sweetest moments,” she said. “His asking me meant something. He wanted to know me more and share more about himself. Wow! I felt pursued.”

Others have incorporated the questions into their Bible reading or prayer plans. Even long-married couples have told Dana how much they enjoy 365 Dates, and many marriage ministries promote it on their website and events. She has released an edition designed with prayers and references for Catholics, which has received an imprimatur from a Dallas-area Bishop authorizing its content. Another version has been slightly re-tooled for the Protestant audience. The book also has been translated into Spanish.

Content from 365 Dates has been taken to create free printables available on her website, including 12 Months of Dates, which “supports date night planning and gets you out with the one you love most.” It offers date night ideas, Ready, Set, Go questions and room to journal. 5 Daily Habits For a Healthy Marriage Ebook helps couples develop practices that bring them closer and grow their marriage.

Before she started counseling couples in 2013, Dana taught high school psychology. Parents would seek Dana’s help with their teens, and, to her surprise, her suggestions gleaned from the psychology textbooks were successful. Word spread, and more families came to her for advice. She realized her passion was to help others, earned a master’s degree and obtained her Licensed Professional Counselor certification from Dallas Baptist University.

Dana blends her cradle Catholic faith, classwork taken at a Protestant university and understanding of Cognitive Behavioral techniques to offer couples and individuals a fresh therapy perspective. She describes her skills-based, solutions-oriented style as directive. Dana gleans from attachment theory to help those seeking emotional, psychological and spiritual healing from a Catholic psychotherapy perspective.

She also began delivering her Cana Commandments retreat curriculum at Catholic events in 2018. Her presentation unpacks the 10 Commandments in the context of a marriage relationship. Cana Commandments’ printed material also has received a Bishop’s imprimatur. Dana noted Cana Commandments differs from other offerings in that each spouse completes their own inventory and workbook without back-and-forth dialogue that might spark an argument. They don’t share their scores with their spouses, but hopefully they will see each other’s positive changes, Dana added. She also crafted a keynote speaker version called Tending the Flame that reminds couples to nurture their romance.

More recently Dana has become interested in helping women understand why their romantic relationships continue to be unsuccessful. Be Smart Date Smart was designed to “empower single Catholic women to discern Mr. Right from Mr. Wrong, avoid settling, and build a strong foundation for a joyful, faith-filled marriage.”

Armed with her 16 years of counseling experience and therapeutic knowledge, Dana is able to discern and illuminate destructive patterns of behavior and incorrect thinking, then point women on a more fruitful path. She coaches women how to identify and heal their attachment wounds so they can develop the confidence to attract an eligible man with whom to have a healthy relationship.

“When you have an insecure attachment style, you keep attracting men who are not a good match or might even be really scary,” she said. She created a 90-day program that directs participants through three pillars of healing derived from attachment theory and incorporating deliverance ministry.

Pillar One asks participants to Reflect on their attachment wound, discern its origin and assess its impact. Pillar Two helps one Restore and heal in that area. Pillar Three inspires them to Radiate their security and confidence, or, as Dana expressed, “How do you take that feminine genius and show how God made you.”

Another core principle is forgiveness. Dana hosts a live session monthly to help those who struggle in this area.

“Most people don’t think they walk with unforgiveness,” Dana said, “but Jesus said you must forgive trespasses. When my clients are stuck in unforgiveness it blocks grace from everything they are doing.”

In November 2024 Dana renamed her online community Miss to Mrs. from Single to Sacramental. She asks women “why do your relationships keep failing?” and offers them a free love patterns quiz on clarityplease.com to help, “Uncover the hidden patterns shaping your love life and how to break free.” The platform allows women to access material and communicate in support through a discussion board or online chat – whether they want to share advice, need advice or give a praise report. Dana is available for coaching sessions or to comment with a strong dose of common sense. She also posts short videos with her perspective on timely cultural topics. She’s addressed why women seek out men who are incarcerated, cracked the code behind the phrase, “I’ll try,” and uncovered the Agreeable Girlfriend Trap and the Good Guy Fallacy.

A dating discernment section provides clarity on how to detect red flags of jealousy or something troubling in a man’s background. Women can ask the discussion group or message Dana privately for help knowing if a behavior is ok. Others sign up to interact with Dana weekly.

She doesn’t guarantee women who join Miss to Mrs. will find husbands or marriage. But Dana does guarantee “you will be in a better place (emotionally) than you were.” Dana’s overarching goal is to “lower divorce rates by helping Catholic women move from insecure attachment to a secure attachment.”

“Like attracts like,” she said. “A woman will attract an emotionally healthy man when she is emotionally healthy. Once I healed from my insecure attachment from my family of origin, I was able to attract my healthy husband. If I can overcome my past, I want everyone to be able to. I’m heartbroken how many women are so miserable. Their husbands hold the family finances, are abusive or gaslight them. It’s so sad and demoralizing.”

Whether helping couples connect through conversation, writing books, presenting at marriage retreats or showing single women a better path, Dana loves doing what God has called her to do – using her gift of healing for his glory.