It all starts with a good role-model. Doug Fields’ journey as a minister to marriages began not unlike many other pastors. Inspired by the youth minister that changed his life as a teen, he obtained a Master of Divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary with the goal of serving youth. It didn’t hurt that the mentor from his youth was Jim Burns, a beloved and respected marriage and family leader in his own right and founder of HomeWord. 

Doug started ministering to youth at Mariners Church in Orange County and quickly realized, “If you really care about teenagers, you have to help their parents.” He remained in close contact with Jim, who recruited him to speak about parenting and then pulled him onstage to speak at marriage conferences. Doug eventually came to work with Jim as Director of Content for HomeWord, a role he still plays.

Self-described as a youth pastor at heart, Doug next spent 20 years serving at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, growing A Purpose Driven Youth Ministry from the ground up following Pastor Rick Warren’s trademark “Purpose Driven” pattern.

Doug returned to Mariners Church a decade ago. While he originally was recruited to be part of the preaching team, he drew on his experience building a youth ministry to more formally develop a marriage focus there. He encourages other churches to follow his blueprint in the book, Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages that Last, he co-authored with Ted Lowe, who was once his youth intern at Saddleback Church.

“Marriage doesn’t affect just a husband and wife,” he wrote. “It affects their kids, their community, even the health of the church. When marriages are strong, attendance, tithing, volunteerism, even the quality of worship tends to go up. When marriages are weak, the opposite usually happens.”

In “Married People: How Your Church Can Build Marriages that Last”, Ted Lowe and Doug Fields show how the church is uniquely positioned, despite being overcommitted in time and resources, to be in the business of building marriages. For every ministry leader, pastor, age group minister, family minister, even the dedicated volunteer, this book offers a vision and a step-by-step strategy for empowering marriages and strengthening the church in the process,” from the Amazon review.

“If your marriage isn’t good, nothing is,” Doug said. “It affects everything. That’s why it is so important that the church helps people on a regular basis. One week a year or a two-week series isn’t enough to prioritize it.”

He encourages churches to start small and highlight some of the testimonies of those who’ve benefited from marriage-type programs. “Your job as a marriage champion is to capture and communicate those (impacts),” he said.

Several years ago, Doug started a monthly church-based marriage event at Mariners Church at which he speaks. What began with just a few now attracts 1200-1500 regularly. “People get there early to get a table,” Doug said. The church holds the event on Saturday evenings immediately following the service, so a built-in audience is already on campus. Tickets cost just $20 a couple for a catered meal and child-care, with activities for youth through high school also on offer, “taking all the excuses away from families,” Doug added. “Our church (Mariners) invests in the event – it’s expensive to pull off. We enlist a strong base of volunteers to set up early and make the tables look amazing. We want it to become a statement ministry of our church.

“We’ve found it is easier for people to invite non-believers to this marriage event than to church,” Doug said. “It’s cheap, fun, the guy who speaks is funny and says things that are meaningful. For many people, it’s their first experience at Mariner’s Church. Couples will even buy the first ticket for their friends.”

Content “doesn’t break new ground.” Most topics circle back to communication – non-verbal, encouragement, conflict resolution, intimacy, fun in marriage. “It’s not a ton of theory. We might discuss relevant research, and we challenge people to make dating a part of their weekly rhythm.”

Doug draws on his background with youth in the way he structures the evenings — games, prizes, funny videos and a practical message with a hook to bring people back the following month, including a printed take-home piece that’s tied to the topic.

“We want couples laughing,” he said. “That’s one of the pieces of it — laughter and fun. Humor is a value of mine. Most men don’t want to come to a marriage event. Because of that I try to speak a man’s language and offer a consistent voice. We’re not switching speakers every month, so our guys know what they are walking into. They trust that I’m not going to make them look bad, I’m going to help them.”

Another unique aspect to the program — although Cathy, his wife of 40 years, does not speak formally from the stage, she usually joins him at the end of the evening to answer ad lib questions or provide a humorous anecdote – often at his expense.

“People love hearing the different voice,” Doug said. “One time I was talking about how one of the keys to avoiding conflict is to minimize. You don’t need to make a big deal of everything. People are going to do weird things. Both of you are weird! Then I asked Cathy to tell a couple of stories about me.

“I tend to say things most pastors are afraid to say, and the leadership team at Mariners trusts me with permission to be a little edgy, which men seem to appreciate.”

Doug encourages people to not believe they are disqualified from serving in marriage ministry because their spouse doesn’t speak or teach. Although he’s the primary communicator, Cathy still participates in her own way.

 “I love talking about marriage, because it makes me think more and more about Cathy. She can tell I’m working on a message because I’ll send her a random text in the middle of the day thanking her or encouraging her. She validates that I wasn’t always good at this, but because I’m working on it, she can tell it’s made a difference,” he said. “People want to hear about the journey. Most people feel alone in their pain. They compare what they know about their marriage with what they don’t know about other people’s marriages. People are good at pretending. Any time I can talk about a pain point in our marriage, they can see they are not alone.”

He’s found that not everybody who teaches on marriage practices what they preach.

“The greatest gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage,” he said. “You are sending a message to your kids that is going to pass on for generations. They will respect it, and when they’re married, they will ultimately reflect that.” One of the things of which he is proudest is that all three of his and Cathy’s children are happily married. They babysit for each other and drop the seven grandkids at the Fields’ house to prioritize their date nights.

Marriage Resources

His latest project is a four-part video series and workbook for couples or small groups that releases January 2025. In it he’ll introduce the concept of a one-heart marriage, based on the biblical idea of two becoming one. The 10-minute videos are short, relatable and appealing to men, not “cheesy” and so female focused a man would be “embarrassed to even hold the book in his hand,” Doug explained. If couples want to take it deeper, a workbook provides five days of follow-up, including a devotion, exercises for the couple to complete together and a personal reflection.

“It’s only four weeks,” he said. “So a church can use it for a weekend retreat. And it’s an easy way to engage the person who’s reluctant to work on their marriage. You can ask them if they’d give this group meeting a month as an experiment.”

Another of Doug’s marriage-related titles includes 7 Ways to Be Her Hero – The One Your Wife Has Been Waiting For. This book is written for guys who want to be better in their marriage and need practical ideas. “Guys need a little more relational coaching — they are not as intuitive,” he said. Doug describes the tone as ESPN meets men’s magazine. Also included, two pages at the end of each chapter for the “sneaky wife” who wants to know what her husband is reading.

One of his seven suggestions: You don’t always have to say what you are thinking. “You are under no moral obligation – you are not being unfaithful – but sometimes what you are thinking shouldn’t be spoken,” he said.

Pre-marriage

Doug’s also the content architect for https://gettingreadyformarriage.com/. The website contains information found in the book he co-authored with Jim Burns in 2014, Getting Ready for Marriage: A Practical Road Map for Your Journey Together. Billed as an “early wedding gift” it offers “a comprehensive, easy-to-navigate road map for beginning your union.” The book is included in a bundle for couples that contains six video courses addressing compatibility, money, sex, in-laws, communication and spirituality. Jim and Doug guide couples through those topics on video and provide questions to spark follow-up conversations. A companion workbook includes exercises and worksheets to complete individually and discuss together. Couples also can download an app with digital tools to reveal behaviors and core values about issues including conflict resolution. The package includes a free ebook, 10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Before It Starts.”

Doug and Jim followed their pre-marital book with The First Few Years of Marriage: 8 Ways to Strengthen Your “I Do” in 2017.

Youth

In addition to writing handfuls of books pertaining to youth and youth ministry, Doug’s the co-founder of DownloadYouthMinistry.com, a site chock full of downloadable youth ministry tools. Youth pastors all over the world are creating great things, he said. “This way their game, sermon, or curriculum doesn’t sit on their hard drive. They can publish it on the website, and we give them half the royalties.” Marriage leaders might be interested in visiting this site because in addition to teen-related programs, it includes hundreds of turn-key game ideas they can use to enliven their marriage events.

“You don’t have to go very far to find great, fun games that are visually appealing done by pros,” Doug said. “You can download a professionally-designed game for $5 – that’s a no-brainer.”

A marriage minister with the heart of a youth pastor – leading the way to engage couples’ hearts and minds through action and humor.