Dr. John Delony is a three-time national bestselling author, mental health expert and host of The Dr. John Delony Show. He joined Ramsey Solutions in 2020, where he writes, speaks and teaches on relationships, mental health, anxiety and wellness. He also serves as co-host of The Ramsey Show, the second-largest talk show in the nation. In 2022, John’s book Own Your Past, Change Your Future instantly became a number one national bestseller, joining Redefining Anxiety, and most recently, Building a Non-Anxious Life, which was published in 2023. He’s earned two Ph.D.’s and has more than 20 years of experience in counseling, crisis response and higher education.

John started his career as a high school teacher, track and basketball coach in Houston. In the mid-2000s, he noticed students’ questions started changing. They were no longer as concerned with future careers, “what they wanted to be when they grew up” — they weren’t even sure they wanted to grow up. Anxiety and depression were eclipsing past teen concerns. His students’ parents also sought his advice, prompting him to pursue not one, but two doctoral degrees in counseling and higher education. He then spent years working with a crisis response team until he and his wife, Sheila, left Texas for him to take the position as Dean of Students at Belmont College in Nashville. It was there that a vice president with Ramsey Solutions heard John speak and recruited him to join the powerhouse organization in 2020. Founder and spokesperson Dave Ramsey was planning to phase back as he thought about a succession plan, so John joined him on air as co-host of the Ramsey show. John’s warm genuineness, coupled with his ability to think on his feet and connect with callers, quickly sealed his position in the organization.

In subsequent years, John wrote several books and started his own popular podcast, The Dr. John Delony Show, “Real Talk on Relationships & Mental Health.” He is not afraid to tackle tough contemporary problems with conversational ease. He’s addressed infidelity, sexual addiction and pornography. He often attempts to frame one person’s situation in a broader context with which many can identify. For instance, when a caller shared her DNA test revealed that the town priest was really her father, not the man who raised her, John expanded the conversation to suggest others also could learn new things about their fathers.

John can identify when callers share relationship woes, as he admits his own marriage has suffered at times when he struggled with self-doubt and the desire to prove his worth. He and his wife realized at one point they had “co-created a life where we don’t have fun together.” He said they turned a corner when they agreed that if they had taken steps to devolve to that bad place, they could choose to take steps to move in the opposite direction – a choice they made together. He and Sheila have developed a strategy that has proven fruitful in their relationship – to use the phrase, “What can I do to best love you today?” or another version, “What’s going on in your world?”

He noted a defining characteristic of couples with good or great marriages is that they are friends. “Beneath the big issues of money, religion, sex, kids, do they still like each other?” he asked. “We often miss the friendship part. If couples will seek to have fun together, laugh, touch and look at each other – it gives them the space to challenge each other (on the harder topics).”

The choice of a spouse is the most important decision a person will make in their life, he’s said. A good marriage will elevate everything else. But likewise, an unhappy marriage will rob life’s joy. The question “Is marriage still worth it?” inspired John to dig deeply into relationship research. He answered the question for himself with a resounding yes, but he was interested in the macro. Is marriage still worth it for society and if so, why?

“I think marriage is the only shot we have left,” he said. “When it comes to individually binding the culture back together, it starts in homes, with two people saying, ‘I’m in, are you in?’ Till death do us part, literally. But what better adventure to go on with a friend!”

Historically, marriage was not meant to be held to today’s standards of unceasing romance and personal fulfilment, he noted. In centuries past, marriage was much more about creating a team and a tribe that safeguarded survival. Now people are looking to their spouse for validation and as the source of their self-worth – a burden the other was not designed to carry. “We’ve dumped way too much existential weight on it,” John said. “It’s time we started clearing away some of the nonsense.”

He exposes the myth of the soul mate that’s emerged over the last 30 years.  People believe they’ll find “the one,” and then no longer have to put in the work to keep the relationship vibrant. “They’ll have all the benefits and no responsibility,” John said. “They don’t have to pick up the wet towels from the floor. They don’t have to say sorry or offer forgiveness.”

Instead, he points to the example of his grandparents, who were married for 73 ½ years. When his grandfather died, his grandmother had “a sense of bewilderment. It was as though she had lost an arm, a leg and a lung,” he said. “Over time, they had become this incredible, unbreakable entity together literally until death do us part. We try to hack that and reverse engineer it. You’ve got to put the time in, go through pain together. My grandparents were soulmates, but only in the rearview mirror.”

Not surprising, considering his association with the Ramsey Group, best known for creating the Financial Peace resources, John explains how money can affect marriages – either positively or negatively. “Money is values expressed and amplifies communication problems,” he said.  He advises couples to start a tough conversation about finances with an I-message … “I feel anxious about how we are spending money,” for instance, instead of detonating a “conversation grenade,” like “Another Amazon package? You are going to send us to the poorhouse!”

He shares advice like this at the annual Money & Marriage Getaway he headlines with Rachel Cruze (Dave Ramsey’s daughter). The event, often held in Nashville, but next year also on a cruise, is billed as a weekend getaway with no to-dos or interruptions, “just laughing, learning and dreaming together about your future… you’ll walk away with the tools you need to build a deeper connection and win with money together.”

Most married couples experience seasons where life’s bills and busyness have dampened the flames of connection. As John wrote, “Sometimes you can be sitting right next to someone but still feel 1,000 miles apart.” He’s put together several decks of Questions for Humans, both couples and those dating, to help get the conversational ball rolling.

“The important part is to have some fun and connect with your human,” he wrote. “There are 52 cards in the deck, and the questions on them are fun, thought provoking and, at times, a little bit ridiculous… Instead of binge-watching that new TV drama, have a meaningful conversation! You’ll become an everyday hero—rescuing your spouse from a dull and surface-level evening.

• You’ll learn something unexpected.

• You’ll have some laughs.

• You’ll find it much, much easier to spark a connection.

• You’ll build emotional intimacy.

• You’ll spend meaningful (and fun) quality time together.

One example: Would you rather have to sing everything you say out loud or always speak in rhymes?”

John expanded on the idea of creating connection to launch the Together app he describes as “Microhabits for a Better Marriage.” When the Ramsey team first approached John with the idea of an app, he wasn’t a fan. He wanted to get people off their phones and back to relating to each other in person. He agreed only if they could come up with something that incorporated his teaching and pointed people back into their life and marriage.

Since its launch in 2025, the app has already helped more than 10,000 couples. “We’re talking to real couples all the time,” he said. Those who sign up “get small, simple activities every single day to help you go from feeling like roommates to actually being together again. Every day, you’ll get reminders with simple activities you can easily do (even when life is crazy) for a healthy, fun, on-fire marriage.”

“The best path forward isn’t some big grand gesture or a massive overhaul for your marriage … it’s choosing to show up for your spouse, day after day. It’s a practice. That’s why we built the Together app. Your marriage is built in the small, everyday moments — and this is how you can show up for each other, one day at a time,” according to the website.

The Together app is a “little bitty thing that leads you into having a good week, a good month. Then when the storms hit (as they inevitably will) you are anchored in your marriage,” John said.

The rise in anxiety and mental health woes during the pandemic prompted John to write Redefining Anxiety: What It Is, What It Isn’t, and How to Get Your Life Back followed by Building a Non-Anxious Life in 2023. He offers a free anxiety test on his website, www.ramseysolutions.com. Participants answer a string of questions that correlate with daily choices John outlines in Building a Non-Anxious Life.

“There are six choices you make every single day to help build a non-anxious life,” he explained. “This test explains which of these areas are causing you the most anxiety right now.”

Areas include:

Reality – being honest with yourself and the people around you

Connection – acknowledging that you weren’t made to do life alone

Freedom – taking full responsibility for your money, possessions, time, boundaries and life in general

Belief – letting go of what you can’t control and the pressure of being the center of it all

Mindfulness – staying in control of your thoughts and responses

Health and Healing – creating a new legacy of taking care of your mind, body and emotions

Responses are color coded as red “alarm,” yellow “attention” and green “peace.”

“If you create a life of intentionally living out the six choices outlined in this book, you’ll be able to better respond to whatever life throws at you and build a more peaceful, joyful, non-anxious life,” he wrote.

Participants can dive deeper by signing up for free action item emails to help them create more peace in their lives or order the book.

Want more? Tune in to The Dr. John Delony show and learn why marriage is still worth it along with action steps to get there.