The goal is simple: provide memorable and helpful takeaways about relevant relationship topics, capture contact information, and follow up to meet needs and take the conversation deeper. Every journey in life starts by taking the first step that leads to a new destination. Some ideas are simple – One Thing, with an estimated 120,000 subscribers, delivers a daily text or email from Dr. Kim highlighting one easy action the recipient can take to improve their marriage. The Marriage Multiplier works similarly. Dr. Kim shares one idea, one challenge, one resource and one question to grow marriage each week through a free weekly email. Others connect with Dr. Kim via his popular podcasts, complete with in-depth discovery questions. Recent topics include Perseverance to Keep an Awesome Marriage and Ways Men can Lead at Home.
Dozens of digital resources meet specific marriage needs. Many of Awesome Marriages’ resources are also available in Spanish. They are not just translated, Dr. Kim explained, but changed to make sure they remain culturally relevant to the Spanish-speaking community.
Date night ideas and conversations starters help prime the pump for marriage enrichment, giving couples something to begin to talk about to start enjoying time together. Examples from the website include 42 Sexy Notes for Your Spouse, Questions to Help Your Spouse Open Up, Color Me Wild (Awesome Marriage Date Designs), Welcome to Paradise Date Design and Steamy Match Game Sexy Spin the Bottle.
Sprinkled among the more lighthearted offerings are relationship checkups and challenges like Self Check in Guide: A Tool for Growing in Self Awareness, Family Prayer Challenge, and Annual Marriage Check Up Guide.
Of particular note are the 21-day husband and wife encouragement challenges. Surprisingly, Dr. Kim said more men than women have downloaded this resource, which offers 21 ways to encourage a spouse.
“I’m so proud of the guys. They really stepped up,” he said. “It tells me that guys really want to do something – they just don’t have a clue. If we can give them a tool that helps them navigate and doesn’t make them feel goofy, that will make a difference.
“Women are so much better about getting in a Bible study and holding each other accountable. Guys want that, we just don’t know how to get it.”
Couples can support the ministry and access even more resources to help their marriage by signing up as a Marriage Changer on the Awesome Marriage website https://awesomemarriage.com. They’ll learn to grow as well as invest in peers. “Our goal is to get their marriages healthy, then equip them to go and help others,” Dr. Kim said. Each resource is available for a donation of whatever dollar amount the user decides to contribute to support the ministry, although Dr. Kim said he does not want cost to ever be an obstacle to keep anyone from something that would help their marriage.
One resource, in particular, is always free. It’s a three-page guide called 10 Things to Do Before You Get a Divorce. Dr. Kim estimates that more than 2000 people have downloaded the information. The guide lists alternatives before taking the step to call an attorney. Each person who accesses the guide receives an email invitation that conveys warmth and empathy for their circumstance and offers prayer. The email asks if the recipient would like to share more information so staff members at Awesome Marriage can pray more specifically and send further helpful information. The email also points to Dr. Kim’s 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan, which includes a daily email for three months with “one thing to do each day to save and heal their marriage.”
“This plan is for marriages that are struggling. If you feel defeated about your marriage, are considering divorce, or just feel like you can’t figure out how to turn things around in your marriage on your own – this plan is for you!”
Dr. Kim noted that more than 660 people signed up for the 90-day plan in its first four months, and the overwhelming majority finished the course. “The drop rate was only 14 couples,” he said. “Hopefully many will see their marriages get better.”
Side Bar of the 10 Things
Find a Christian counselor and do what he/she tells you to do.
Find a mentor couple that will spend time with you individually and together.
Pray for God’s healing for your marriage and each other every day.
Call a truce. Don’t try to solve things alone now that you have not be able to solve before.
Forgive your spouse and ask them to forgive you.
Take divorce off the table. Commit not to talk about or entertain the idea of divorce while you’re trying to work things out.
Eliminate distractions that take you away from your marriage.
Identify the source of your conflict.
Agree to use time outs before things get heated.
Be intentional about time together and date nights.
Some who start with the 10 Things transition to find help through Awesome Marriage’s Online Affair Recovery course. Dr. Kim noticed a void in online resources to help couples in crisis, so Awesome Marriage put together the course, which shares inspiration from nine experts on how to rebuild marriage “better than before,” including testimonies from six couples who have walked in that hard place, yet made it through to the other side together. The course helps couples struggling after a spouse’s affair to jump start recovery and realize they are not alone, Dr. Kim said.
He remembered one pastor’s wife who wanted to end her marriage after her husband’s infidelity. However, he was willing to admit his wrong-doing and change, and she agreed to follow God’s leading to hold on. She began to see God’s work in her husband, and they were able to regain the trust and love in their marriage.
“If a spouse is repentant, give it a go, the results can be amazing,” Dr. Kim said. Another new resource for troubled couples: a 15-part Marriage 911 video series with interactive questions.
Many of Dr. Kim’s original offerings also have transitioned online. While he enjoys traveling to speaking engagements, he’s realized the value of online events.
“We can reach more people online,” he said. “I’ve love what we’ve been able to do.” Preparing for an Awesome Marriage online course correlates with Dr. Kim’s book by the same name and offers seven sessions online with nine follow up emails for engaged couples. Awesome Marriage’s marriage retreat launched online for the second time in fall 2021, following a response of more than 1000 participants the year before. Speakers included well-known authors and thought leaders in marriage ministry like Jim Burns and Debra Fileta. Awesome Marriage recorded the speakers and packaged their messages together with questions to engage the audience.
The retreat is available on demand, a practice borrowed from streaming platform Netflix. However, in contrast to watching a favorite series, Dr. Kim recommended couples not binge on the retreat’s 20 hours of content.
“Check the ones that really are meaningful to you,” he suggested. “Plan a weekend retreat and pick out four or five to watch at your convenience.” He did caution couples to schedule time to watch on their calendar, so the year doesn’t slip by and waste their investment. Awesome Marriage has also held a woman’s retreat online, an idea birthed early in COVID shutdown. No matter the audience, follow-up is a component of every retreat.
“We like to send people something every week or two. We don’t want them to walk out of a seminar and not remember what they learned,” Dr. Kim said.
His inspiration and passion for marriage began at a young age as he watched his parents live out the true meaning of having an Awesome Marriage centered around God’s incredible plan. While he has been in ministry for 40 years, he wrote his first book addressing singles in 2011. In 2019 Dr. Kim released 14 Keys to Lasting Love: How to Have the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted, updating his 2015 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage: Strengthen Your Most Intimate Relationship. Over the years, Dr. Kim has conducted numerous surveys and requested feedback from subscribers to learn with which issues couples struggle.
“As our culture changes, new challenges come into marriage,” Dr. Kim said, noting that online pornography and video gaming addiction were two additional items included in the newest release. The book unpacks 14 major areas of marriage like empathy, personal health, conflict behavior, talking, and intimacy to help couples get on the right track for a happy, healthy marriage that deepens a couples’ relationship with each other and with God. Dr. Kim weaves the idea throughout the book that spouses value each other and embrace each other’s differences.
“It is such an important concept to understand your spouse is not your enemy. They are your advocate, your best friend,” he said. He stresses the idea of being a team, of fighting together instead of fighting each other. Dr. Kim remembers the futility of the experience early in his marriage (of now 51 years) as he and his wife, Nancy, tried to change each other and put each other into a box of their idea of the perfect husband or wife.
“Accept your differences and battle through that,” he said. “Nancy asks a lot of questions. For years, I thought when she asked questions, she was questioning me. When I learned she was trying to understand me so she could come alongside and support me, it made all the difference.”
This is just one of the personal stories that find their way into Dr. Kim’s writing, whether the daily email, book or seminar example. He also stressed the need to rely on God and prayer. Statistics show that the divorce rate is very low for couples who pray together. Dr. Kim and his wife began that practice on their wedding night, an idea with which he credits Nancy.
“We’ve prayed together 99% of the time,” he said. “There were times we didn’t want to, but God has used that consistency. We’ve made that part of our life.”
