“Marriage is very important to God,” Sharon said. “Marriage between Adam and Eve is in the very first book of the Bible, the marriage in Canaan was the first miracle of Jesus, the marriage supper of the lamb is in the last book of the Bible. Even though Solomon may have a checkered past, God made sure the Song of Solomon was included in the Bible for a reason.
“It is so interesting when you understand the symbolism (in Song of Solomon),” she said. “’Fruit’ did not mean going to the produce store, the garden had nothing to do with growing vegetation, and pomegranates were believed to be an aphrodisiac. The poetic and symbolic way Solomon wrote the song reinforces the beauty God intended in sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife.”
She noted that God created men and women’s bodies for sexual intimacy and pleasure — not just for procreation. “Our culture is so mixed up about sexual intimacy. Sex is used to sell everything from cars to corn chips – no boundaries, anything goes. The problem with our culture is not that it focuses on sex too much but that it values sex too little.
The Song of Solomon also shows what happens when apathy creeps in a marriage. One of Sharon’s takeaways: “The devil gets just as excited about a marriage without sex as he does about sex without marriage.” If we understood or believed that sexual intimacy was a gift to be shared between a husband and wife, then we would see it not just as a duty, but as a gift God’s given us to become one and create bonds together as husband and wife. But it takes being intentional to keep apathy from creeping in.”
Song of Solomon starts off with romance, with the woman dreaming about her man kissing her.
He praises her, complimenting her body from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet.
“At first, like so many of us women, she doesn’t think of herself as pretty. He said she was a beautiful flower among the thorn bushes.” She goes to him and tells him everything that she loves and adores about him, a practice Sharon recommends women emulate.
“Remember what you loved about your husband in the first place.” Song of Solomon warns couples to “overcome the little foxes” that tear down marriages, one of which Sharon named as apathy.
“You have to be intentional to have a godly marriage with passion for a lifetime,” she said. “The woman in Song of Solomon was very intentional, she encouraged him to come away with her, she doesn’t allow the marriage to get lukewarm.”
There are so many things that can come in and steal the intimacy from a marriage — marriage gets put on the back burner when couples focus on the kids or the job. After a little tiff in the Song when the little fox of apathy sneaks in, the Shulammite’s friends, who are like “back-up singers,” encourage her to remember what she loved about him when they first met.
“If love has grown cold, remember and return,” Sharon said. “You marry your husband because you love him, you love him because you married him.”
“Left on its own, a fire or a marriage won’t flourish, but turn to ash. It takes intentionality and ingenuity to make lifelong intimacy a reality,” she wrote.
