Discovering a husband has been unfaithful is any woman’s worst nightmare. Whether it’s a physical affair, emotional entanglement, sexual addiction or pornography, the sacred bond of matrimony a woman thought she could trust has been violated – leaving her feeling angry, ashamed, hurt and humiliated.

Stephanie Broersma, founder of Reclaimed Ministry, can relate. Seven years into her marriage her husband came home from work and confessed to a 10-year pornography addiction that had led to multiple affairs. “I had no idea this would be part of our story,” she said. While she credits him with “doing confession well” – making sure the children were not at home and enlisting their pastor — the news was still devastating.

Following the guidance of their pastor, who advised her to take time to grieve the death of her marriage, the couple entered a 10-day separation, during which Stephanie wrestled with offering forgiveness to her husband – not for his sake, but for hers.

“I could feel this ugly filter coming over me where every thought and action felt so bitter and resentful. I could see that if I didn’t choose the path of forgiveness, this was what I was going to be like,” she said. Forgiving her husband didn’t release the boundaries or the consequences of sin, Stephanie emphasized. But it was a bridge to her emotional healing. For two years the couple rebuilt in private until their church asked them to video a public testimony. The day the tape aired in the service, their phone lines lit up.

“God was showing me a bigger picture of what he had planned for our lives,” Stephanie said. Later the 700 Club filmed their testimony, (which has subsequently aired nationally several times.)

Women began calling to her to tell her their stories and ask to meet. This led Stephanie to seek training, so she’d be better equipped with tools to help.

Once a hairdresser, Stephanie has now become a certified Life Coach, studying with the Gottman Institute. She’s currently working through a Sexual Addiction Recovery coaching course offered by Light University, material from which she gleans from in her in-person and online coaching.

“I want to offer the best I can to the women I meet,” she said. She’s learned to take a client through a strength and struggle assessment to help discern emotional status. Once a woman has found her footing, Stephanie can refer her to a couples coach or therapist. More women than Stephanie can meet with individually continue to call for help.

Several years ago, a fellow life coach suggested Stephanie lead a small group. She needed material, and not finding what she was looking for among already published material, wrote both a leader and user guide that together comprise the Reclaimed Course that walks women through a healing journey from betrayal toward wholeness.

“The Reclaimed Course provides the betrayed bride a confidential one-on-one or small group setting to walk through the topic of infidelity. These intimate groups offer close accountability with other women in similar situations, offering support, understanding, and encouragement as you work through the twelve-week course.

“Regardless of your marriage status, Stephanie infuses hope in the Reclaimed Course as you unpack the betrayal trauma using Scripture, reflection, and practical coaching tools,” according to the web description.

She started leading groups in 2012 and in 2019 established non-profit Reclaimed Ministry.

She describes her mission on the website as, “Reclaimed is here to walk you through your season of brokenness. To support you with authentic tools and scripture based guidance that supports you and meets you exactly where you are. …  I also have come from a place of dark despair. I created these materials to guide you on the path to wholeness and living a redeemed identity.”

In 2019 Stephanie revamped the course for personal use and published a 30-day devotional, Reclaimed: Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal, which won a 2025 Christlit Book Award.

“The narrative is crafted with an abundance of love and care, as Broersma draws from her own experiences to offer solace and guidance to others in similar situations. Her honesty and vulnerability serve as a beacon of hope, making readers feel as though they have a supportive friend by their side during one of life’s most challenging moments. The constant reminder that they are not alone in their struggles is a powerful theme that permeates the text, encouraging individuals to release their burdens and turn to God for healing and strength.”

—Louise Jane, CEO The Christlit Book Awards.

Stephanie refers to the women who reach out to Reclaimed Ministry as “brides,” in reference to their position as the Bride of Christ, a “beautiful humbling title.”

“I never called women brides before my own story,” she said, “but I felt like the term, wife, had been betrayed and manipulated. The idea that I wasn’t worthy enough to have that title – that I wasn’t ‘wife’ enough for my spouse. ‘Bride’ sets a woman apart as holy – she has worth and value in God’s eyes. He sees us as his own, as his pure, beautiful bride.”

For the past 13 years, Stephanie’s been helping broken brides regain their footing. She sees her devotional and course as filling the gap between the original discovery of betrayal and the work of rebuilding with a counselor or joining a support group. She suggests marriage mentors keep a copy of Reclaimed on hand to offer as a resource whenever the bride is sufficiently ready to use it, which may be weeks or months later.

At the point of disclosure, the trauma center in the brain is immediately activated, she noted. The entire body is in shock, which sends the brain off-line. First you go numb, then everything starts to settle. “I couldn’t shut my tears off,” Stephanie said. “This wasn’t just a dream I could wake up from.” She became plagued by the “what-ifs” and the “hows.” “What if I had been more this or that? How am I going to keep my job or get a job? What about the kids?” The trauma response prompts an emotional flood of the body. She suggests a bride push the pause button, then ask the Lord to be her buffer and give her the next best step.

“The enemy is so quick to pounce on any crack in your foundation, but God is faithful.”

She recommends brides avoid making any major decisions within the first six weeks unless absolutely necessary due to immediate safety or financial concerns.

While her hope is that a couple can work through the issue and move forward together, her main concern is the bride. “It’s not about the relationship outcome. There’s not always a reconciled marriage,” she said. “You can still see God in the journey even through a very unwanted divorce. The focus is on her through the storm.

“I say often, if you are going to stay, stay well, and if you are going to leave, leave well. Don’t continue to bring up the past. If you stay, offer grace and healing. And if you leave, don’t leave the back door to bitterness open.”

She remembers a woman in her late 60s who attended one of her small group sessions. Although she’d been divorced for more than 30 years, she had not offered forgiveness to her husband.

“She was so timid and nervous. Her personality was totally dampened,” Stephanie said. Working through the course helped her find the confidence to ask Stephanie to help her write a letter to her husband. After she wrote it, the woman was “bouncing through the door.” She literally and figuratively took dark blinds down and painted everything white. “She has a new zest for life in her 70s, and it’s beautiful to see that transition.”

Although Stephanie’s church was helpful to her, not all provide the same support and wise council she was given.

Many churches are not educated on how to deal with a broken bride, she added. She’s heard some ridiculous and wounding experiences. Women have been told the affair was their fault, that they just need to go home and have more sex with their husband. “A woman internalizes that, but marriage takes two people. It was my husband’s decision to step into that lifestyle,” Stephanie said.

She encourages leaders who want to partner with brides who are completely crushed and shattered to work through the Reclaimed Course with them or consider offering it as a small group. There’s much benefit to being surrounded by other women with similar stories who can encourage and pray for each other. They create a new sisterhood as they work through things together. “Somebody’s comments to one of the questions may be the answer for someone else. Isolation is the game plan of Satan,” Stephanie said.

Women who have been through the journey also can connect through a private Reclaimed Facebook community. Some are very active, others silent, but each finds strength knowing she is not alone, Stephanie added. Other ways Reclaimed Ministry offers support are through a twice monthly newsletter and free resources on their website, https://reclaimedministry.com/, including Digital Toolkits “designed to support and encourage individuals in their healing work through betrayal trauma. They are bite-sized coaching tools that help you uncover your strengths and values with a ready-made reflection process, providing the opportunity for personal growth.”

Titles include:

4 Responses That Can Ruin Relationships

10 Tips for Forgiving

Who I am in Christ … accepted, secure, significant

Victim and Predator Prayer

SOAP – scripture, observation, application, prayer

Also available are a Couples’ toolkit

The Date Night toolkit

The Freebie toolkit

The website includes a Healing Separation Agreement – a non-legal document a couple can use to provide emotional space to heal in partnership with their pastor, coach or accountability partner. The goal is to offer a timeline with established boundaries and goals with the intent of reunifying, Stephanie explained.

There’s also a Trauma Prayer to read over the body. “Many women report gut issues, respiratory infections, even breathing problems as they hold the trauma physically in those places,” Stephanie said.

“The heart of Reclaimed is for a woman to find Jesus in the midst of her really hard story. My prayer is that these resources – the Reclaimed Course and 30-day Devotional – be in the offices of every church,” she said. Stephanie also speaks at intensives and retreats.

“I love to share how my identity has not been crushed by the journey of betrayal. It’s a combination of the clinical approach and the power of the Holy Spirit.

“The biggest fatality through betrayal is when discovery steals someone’s identity or confidence and she walks away from church, walks away from marriage. Healing is possible. If I can be a voice of encouragement to that bride, my really hard, complicated, challenging story is worth it.”